This post was written by my sister
A woman working in a call centre in Bangalore was raped, and then murdered. A few weeks later, I received a forward carrying pictures taken after her death, and the message :
“With due respects to the lady who has been murdered, please take a look at the dress that she had worn(a sleeveless shirt and a pair of jeans) during the macabre incident. This should be an eye opener to all the parents who have some misdirected souls as their daughters and also to all those morons who think that wearing less clothes and being foolishly bold is a measure of modernity...Well, one lady has paid the price...atleast, be careful from now on...”
This made absolutely no sense to me, because the entire event was pre planned. Any six year old could conclude that the assault had nothing to do with what the girl was wearing.
However, the mail represented a deeper issue.
A common belief, I have recently discovered, is that women who don’t dress conservatively are asking for trouble. Therefore, if they get raped, it is their fault to a large extent. It is believed that they are only provoking men(who are naturally unable to control hormonal rages as they still remain barbarians from the stone age) by showing skin.
The truth is, it simply doesn’t matter what women wear. A girl in a salwar still hears leering remarks as she crosses the road, and probably gets harrassed more than a girl in a t shirt, simply because she looks more vulnerable.
When will society learn to punish the perpetrator instead of the victim? Instead of expressing outrage, we send emails blaming the girl. In the name of a conservative culture, we shy away from reality and hide behind walls of half baked opinions with no substance.
Somewhere, we are confusing preservation of our cultural identity with condoning ruthless crime.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Tea Time
I've tried tetra pack milk instead of milk powder, eight different kinds of tea bags, and recently have taken to using three tea bags per cup.
My tea still tastes like old dishwashing liquid.
My tea still tastes like old dishwashing liquid.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Everybody's Homesick
It's not just me.
Last week, I was talking about all the things I miss about being at home. Now for those of you who are not engineers, the final year of engineering is, in one word, timepass. All the extra currics are organized by 3rd yr students. The workload is light simply because most students are very busy applying to schools in the US for their post graduate programs. For those of us who are not, its literally 7-8 months of total 'vetti'ness.
I remember endless days spent at Anokhi, Amethyst or the Beach. We'd spend hours just chatting about the most mundane things, throw sand/water at each other on the beach, go for drives, go for CAT class and spend more time at Gangotree across the road etc etc.
Apparently, I'm not the only one who's nostalgic and misses home. So does my friend mahathi
Last week, I was talking about all the things I miss about being at home. Now for those of you who are not engineers, the final year of engineering is, in one word, timepass. All the extra currics are organized by 3rd yr students. The workload is light simply because most students are very busy applying to schools in the US for their post graduate programs. For those of us who are not, its literally 7-8 months of total 'vetti'ness.
I remember endless days spent at Anokhi, Amethyst or the Beach. We'd spend hours just chatting about the most mundane things, throw sand/water at each other on the beach, go for drives, go for CAT class and spend more time at Gangotree across the road etc etc.
Apparently, I'm not the only one who's nostalgic and misses home. So does my friend mahathi
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Sunday Morning
Everything on campus is in slow motion. Dbabble, our internal bulletin board and messaging service seems dead. Usually, boards have a new message every 5 mins. Some every 30 secs. But on Sunday morning, they are all on a break. People usually sleep in till late. Lunch is skipped, to be substituted by a late meal from Cafe Tanstaafl.
My Sunday Morning :
* Set the alarm for 6.30
* Wake up at 8.30
* Snooze for another half hour
* Wake up and brush my teeth
* Move suitcases, put away my shoes, and take out the vacuum cleaner
* Clean my room - It looks so nice now
* Make coffee
* Order toast and juice
* Chat with friends who are winding down after a Saturday night
* Breakfast, watch two episodes of scrubs :-)
* Decide to study
* Blog instead
My Sunday Morning :
* Set the alarm for 6.30
* Wake up at 8.30
* Snooze for another half hour
* Wake up and brush my teeth
* Move suitcases, put away my shoes, and take out the vacuum cleaner
* Clean my room - It looks so nice now
* Make coffee
* Order toast and juice
* Chat with friends who are winding down after a Saturday night
* Breakfast, watch two episodes of scrubs :-)
* Decide to study
* Blog instead
Monday, December 12, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
What If
She was the new girl in the class. She walked in late on the third day after school had started. You saw her standing at the edge of the gang of girls opening their lunch boxes during the break. Nervous and Shy. What if you had smiled at her instead of looking away?
“I’ve had enough - This is over. And this time I’m not joking.” What if at that moment, you didn’t open the door of the car and step out. What if you stayed? What if you looked back?
The proctor announces, “Your time starts now”. You tear open the plastic of the bulletin. Phew! 2 marks, ½ marks. You smile. At the very least, its going to be interesting. What if you had got up then and walked away?
What if you had got over your fear of cats? What if you had a dog? What if you had managed to keep diaries? Or resolutions?
What if you never started a sentence with “I need to tell you something”?
What if you had never heard that song? You borrowed his discman for the bus journey. Your Woman - White Town You remembered a tune from long ago that you had never found. You looked at him and smiled.
What if they had changed their minds? What if they had named you something else? What if you were the first on the roll call instead of 58th?
What if you had never cut your hair? If you were never called “The girl with short hair”? What if you had never discovered Ayn Rand that summer? Or Kundera? What if you had never found a kindred spirit? What if you had believed in the tooth fairy? Or God?
What if you had taken the plunge? Then, when you were young and the spirit was strong, before you became weak and "settled". What if you had kept old love letters?
What if you had cheated in that exam? What if you had just said "No"? What if you had saved those hundred bucks for something else?
What if none of it mattered? What if nothing changed?
What if all those years ago, early morning in a temple, one of them had said “Appa I’m not so sure about this”?
Inspired by The Butterfly Effect. Which is one of the most brilliant movies I've seen recently
“I’ve had enough - This is over. And this time I’m not joking.” What if at that moment, you didn’t open the door of the car and step out. What if you stayed? What if you looked back?
The proctor announces, “Your time starts now”. You tear open the plastic of the bulletin. Phew! 2 marks, ½ marks. You smile. At the very least, its going to be interesting. What if you had got up then and walked away?
What if you had got over your fear of cats? What if you had a dog? What if you had managed to keep diaries? Or resolutions?
What if you never started a sentence with “I need to tell you something”?
What if you had never heard that song? You borrowed his discman for the bus journey. Your Woman - White Town You remembered a tune from long ago that you had never found. You looked at him and smiled.
What if they had changed their minds? What if they had named you something else? What if you were the first on the roll call instead of 58th?
What if you had never cut your hair? If you were never called “The girl with short hair”? What if you had never discovered Ayn Rand that summer? Or Kundera? What if you had never found a kindred spirit? What if you had believed in the tooth fairy? Or God?
What if you had taken the plunge? Then, when you were young and the spirit was strong, before you became weak and "settled". What if you had kept old love letters?
What if you had cheated in that exam? What if you had just said "No"? What if you had saved those hundred bucks for something else?
What if none of it mattered? What if nothing changed?
What if all those years ago, early morning in a temple, one of them had said “Appa I’m not so sure about this”?
It has been said that something as
small as the flutter of a butterfly's
wing can ultimately cause a typhoon
halfway around the world
Inspired by The Butterfly Effect. Which is one of the most brilliant movies I've seen recently
Thursday, December 01, 2005
December's Here
I’ve turned 22, and suddenly am feeling extremely restless. We had a large number of students from foreign schools down on campus for Confluence. By and large, all of them have done so much, experienced so much, I feel naïve in comparison. One of our exchange students has modelled in Paris and Milan, waitressed at restaurants and is now majoring in economics and math. Feeling restless that I’ve never really struck out on my own and explored, or truly lived!
Classes, which somehow seemed magical in term 1, now are losing their sheen. High attendance requirements get us to the classroom, but it takes a great prof to keep us riveted. More often than not, this doesn’t happen. And the system is designed such that there is no time for reflection or learning. You prepare for class, but there is no feedback on that preparation. As such, outside of our group meetings, there is not too much learning. There is no reflection on whether this approach can be tweaked. And somehow, I feel I’m never really getting my hands dirty doing real work. After a few terms of marketing, apart from being able to spew meaningless jargon, I don’t feel I’d have really learnt much.
Tomorrow, in our ISPE class, we are scheduled to have a debate on secularism vs Hindu nationhood. The professor contends that one group believes that we should have one religion and one way of life. The other believes that secularism is the way to go. The prof also gave us the impression that the latter is mostly pseudo secularists. Outside, in discussions we branded them hypocrites. While the former are tentatively branded fundamentalists of sorts.
I don’t know why I feel so uncomfortable in my gut. I don’t want to attend the class (though will have to) and I definitely don’t want to be a part of this debate. People are not allowed to opt out of the debate and have to pick one of two polarized positions. In the profs words “It is time to stand up and be counted”. Fine, grand words indeed. But discussing hindutva scares me. Somehow, people who believe they can impose their way of living on others freaks me out!
This may make me one of the so called pseudo secularists but I truly believe there is not “us” vs “them”. Another source of confusion is where I would belong. I’m hindu by birth, but I believe in God rather than a hindu one. I don’t think the average muslim/christian/sikh/jain/xyz is any different from me. I celebrate valentine’s day and wear jeans. I don’t think anyone has the right to tell me what to wear or how to behave with members of the opposite sex. I don’t think mainstream politics is right. Its extremely marginalized with fighting amongst various factions each claiming superiority due to historic wrongs done to them. I think this is a bad thing. But homogeniety with one hindu way of life is not the answer.
I’m proud of India’s secular nature. As tentative and weak as secularism’s hold remains. Call me a hypocrite, but I prefer this place with its crappy newspapers and loud parliamentary arguments to a religious fundamentalist state like the US or Saudi Arabia. I like that I have the right over my body and constitutionally I have the right to practice whatever I want. I don’t think the state should decree that I can’t eat beef or that Krishna can’t be made fun of in a movie.
Agreed, there are a lot of things wrong with India. And the urban middle class India needs to stand up and be counted. But I don’t want to pick one of two extremist positions and defend myself. And I don’t want to go to class the day after that with someone who believes that Muslim’s should accept the Hindu way of life.. To tell the truth, the very thought of such fundamentalism, scares me!
3 Happy Things
3. I’ve been going for a walk in the evenings for the past few days. About half an hour by myself. And the road. Its an awesome feeling. And for the first time since I’ve been here, I’m getting some exercise.
2. I found an old song I used to listen to when I was a kid. Hawa Hawa, Khusbhoo Luta De. Been listening to nice music lately.
1. My cousin had a baby boy a few days back. That makes me a proud first time aunt. I’ll be the one who takes the kid out for chocolate ice cream and lets him stay up and watch cartoons. Looking forward to seeing the lil bundle in a few weeks.
Classes, which somehow seemed magical in term 1, now are losing their sheen. High attendance requirements get us to the classroom, but it takes a great prof to keep us riveted. More often than not, this doesn’t happen. And the system is designed such that there is no time for reflection or learning. You prepare for class, but there is no feedback on that preparation. As such, outside of our group meetings, there is not too much learning. There is no reflection on whether this approach can be tweaked. And somehow, I feel I’m never really getting my hands dirty doing real work. After a few terms of marketing, apart from being able to spew meaningless jargon, I don’t feel I’d have really learnt much.
Tomorrow, in our ISPE class, we are scheduled to have a debate on secularism vs Hindu nationhood. The professor contends that one group believes that we should have one religion and one way of life. The other believes that secularism is the way to go. The prof also gave us the impression that the latter is mostly pseudo secularists. Outside, in discussions we branded them hypocrites. While the former are tentatively branded fundamentalists of sorts.
I don’t know why I feel so uncomfortable in my gut. I don’t want to attend the class (though will have to) and I definitely don’t want to be a part of this debate. People are not allowed to opt out of the debate and have to pick one of two polarized positions. In the profs words “It is time to stand up and be counted”. Fine, grand words indeed. But discussing hindutva scares me. Somehow, people who believe they can impose their way of living on others freaks me out!
This may make me one of the so called pseudo secularists but I truly believe there is not “us” vs “them”. Another source of confusion is where I would belong. I’m hindu by birth, but I believe in God rather than a hindu one. I don’t think the average muslim/christian/sikh/jain/xyz is any different from me. I celebrate valentine’s day and wear jeans. I don’t think anyone has the right to tell me what to wear or how to behave with members of the opposite sex. I don’t think mainstream politics is right. Its extremely marginalized with fighting amongst various factions each claiming superiority due to historic wrongs done to them. I think this is a bad thing. But homogeniety with one hindu way of life is not the answer.
I’m proud of India’s secular nature. As tentative and weak as secularism’s hold remains. Call me a hypocrite, but I prefer this place with its crappy newspapers and loud parliamentary arguments to a religious fundamentalist state like the US or Saudi Arabia. I like that I have the right over my body and constitutionally I have the right to practice whatever I want. I don’t think the state should decree that I can’t eat beef or that Krishna can’t be made fun of in a movie.
Agreed, there are a lot of things wrong with India. And the urban middle class India needs to stand up and be counted. But I don’t want to pick one of two extremist positions and defend myself. And I don’t want to go to class the day after that with someone who believes that Muslim’s should accept the Hindu way of life.. To tell the truth, the very thought of such fundamentalism, scares me!
3 Happy Things
3. I’ve been going for a walk in the evenings for the past few days. About half an hour by myself. And the road. Its an awesome feeling. And for the first time since I’ve been here, I’m getting some exercise.
2. I found an old song I used to listen to when I was a kid. Hawa Hawa, Khusbhoo Luta De. Been listening to nice music lately.
1. My cousin had a baby boy a few days back. That makes me a proud first time aunt. I’ll be the one who takes the kid out for chocolate ice cream and lets him stay up and watch cartoons. Looking forward to seeing the lil bundle in a few weeks.
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