I’ve turned 22, and suddenly am feeling extremely restless. We had a large number of students from foreign schools down on campus for Confluence. By and large, all of them have done so much, experienced so much, I feel naïve in comparison. One of our exchange students has modelled in Paris and Milan, waitressed at restaurants and is now majoring in economics and math. Feeling restless that I’ve never really struck out on my own and explored, or truly lived!
Classes, which somehow seemed magical in term 1, now are losing their sheen. High attendance requirements get us to the classroom, but it takes a great prof to keep us riveted. More often than not, this doesn’t happen. And the system is designed such that there is no time for reflection or learning. You prepare for class, but there is no feedback on that preparation. As such, outside of our group meetings, there is not too much learning. There is no reflection on whether this approach can be tweaked. And somehow, I feel I’m never really getting my hands dirty doing real work. After a few terms of marketing, apart from being able to spew meaningless jargon, I don’t feel I’d have really learnt much.
Tomorrow, in our ISPE class, we are scheduled to have a debate on secularism vs Hindu nationhood. The professor contends that one group believes that we should have one religion and one way of life. The other believes that secularism is the way to go. The prof also gave us the impression that the latter is mostly pseudo secularists. Outside, in discussions we branded them hypocrites. While the former are tentatively branded fundamentalists of sorts.
I don’t know why I feel so uncomfortable in my gut. I don’t want to attend the class (though will have to) and I definitely don’t want to be a part of this debate. People are not allowed to opt out of the debate and have to pick one of two polarized positions. In the profs words “It is time to stand up and be counted”. Fine, grand words indeed. But discussing hindutva scares me. Somehow, people who believe they can impose their way of living on others freaks me out!
This may make me one of the so called pseudo secularists but I truly believe there is not “us” vs “them”. Another source of confusion is where I would belong. I’m hindu by birth, but I believe in God rather than a hindu one. I don’t think the average muslim/christian/sikh/jain/xyz is any different from me. I celebrate valentine’s day and wear jeans. I don’t think anyone has the right to tell me what to wear or how to behave with members of the opposite sex. I don’t think mainstream politics is right. Its extremely marginalized with fighting amongst various factions each claiming superiority due to historic wrongs done to them. I think this is a bad thing. But homogeniety with one hindu way of life is not the answer.
I’m proud of India’s secular nature. As tentative and weak as secularism’s hold remains. Call me a hypocrite, but I prefer this place with its crappy newspapers and loud parliamentary arguments to a religious fundamentalist state like the US or Saudi Arabia. I like that I have the right over my body and constitutionally I have the right to practice whatever I want. I don’t think the state should decree that I can’t eat beef or that Krishna can’t be made fun of in a movie.
Agreed, there are a lot of things wrong with India. And the urban middle class India needs to stand up and be counted. But I don’t want to pick one of two extremist positions and defend myself. And I don’t want to go to class the day after that with someone who believes that Muslim’s should accept the Hindu way of life.. To tell the truth, the very thought of such fundamentalism, scares me!
3 Happy Things
3. I’ve been going for a walk in the evenings for the past few days. About half an hour by myself. And the road. Its an awesome feeling. And for the first time since I’ve been here, I’m getting some exercise.
2. I found an old song I used to listen to when I was a kid. Hawa Hawa, Khusbhoo Luta De. Been listening to nice music lately.
1. My cousin had a baby boy a few days back. That makes me a proud first time aunt. I’ll be the one who takes the kid out for chocolate ice cream and lets him stay up and watch cartoons. Looking forward to seeing the lil bundle in a few weeks.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Wake up
Few people have the courage to stand up for principles and honesty.
Few people have the integrity to risk their life for the truth.
Those few are often sacrificed.
And forgotten.
The media, has more interesting things to talk about.
An old corrupt politician is finally ousted to be replaced by more of the same. It rains. A match is cancelled. A don is captured. The sensex falls. A new cabinet takes the oath in a neighbouring country. A woman chancellor is sworn in.
A man, died.
He was killed for not succumbing to pressure in a corrupt land.
The mainstream media it seems, has no place for brash management students from IIML who are murdered.
For doing their job.
Manjunathan, Rest in Peace
I hope his death is not in vain
Read the Indian Express City Line Report here
I first read about it at Gaurav's Blog. He has a link to more stories on this.
Few people have the integrity to risk their life for the truth.
Those few are often sacrificed.
And forgotten.
The media, has more interesting things to talk about.
An old corrupt politician is finally ousted to be replaced by more of the same. It rains. A match is cancelled. A don is captured. The sensex falls. A new cabinet takes the oath in a neighbouring country. A woman chancellor is sworn in.
A man, died.
He was killed for not succumbing to pressure in a corrupt land.
The mainstream media it seems, has no place for brash management students from IIML who are murdered.
For doing their job.
Manjunathan, Rest in Peace
I hope his death is not in vain
Read the Indian Express City Line Report here
I first read about it at Gaurav's Blog. He has a link to more stories on this.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Dream a Little Dream
Summers is finally over. The blanket ban is off. We're a batch that has been fully placed by the second slot! Which is a great thing :)
When I started this whole thing, I wasn't really sure where I'd end up. I still am not. I often don't exactly know what I want to do. I have a general idea about what I want from life. I want to work to satisfy intellectual curiosity and make enough money to afford my family's dreams. I want time to pursue things that interest me. I want to travel a lot. And someday I want to write.
How all of this will fit in into a larger five/ten year plan? I'm not sure. After giving it a lot of thought, I've decided that perhaps I don't need one.
Summers itself, was a tiring but nice experience. The day started at 6.50 with a phone call from home and a mad rush to get dressed. After 8 hours of running around in Ahmedabad weather in a suit, it ended with an offer for the summer and dinner sponsored by Merrill Lynch.
When I started this whole thing, I wasn't really sure where I'd end up. I still am not. I often don't exactly know what I want to do. I have a general idea about what I want from life. I want to work to satisfy intellectual curiosity and make enough money to afford my family's dreams. I want time to pursue things that interest me. I want to travel a lot. And someday I want to write.
How all of this will fit in into a larger five/ten year plan? I'm not sure. After giving it a lot of thought, I've decided that perhaps I don't need one.
Summers itself, was a tiring but nice experience. The day started at 6.50 with a phone call from home and a mad rush to get dressed. After 8 hours of running around in Ahmedabad weather in a suit, it ended with an offer for the summer and dinner sponsored by Merrill Lynch.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Random Thoughts
No Surprises Here..
I've very few classes this week. Unlike the usual first year schedule. And the PGP office doesn't schedule quizzes this week. So one of the 'chillest' times on campus. Except that ibank shortlists are coming out and everyone is stressed.
If you don't make it, you're stressed about not making day zero and not getting a job of your choice.
If you do, you're (if possible) more stressed about still not converting it and not getting a job of your choice.
What's Playing..
Have been listening to some of Girish's music yesterday. Amazing Stuff! He and his friends have got real talent!
It's a small world..
I had a phone interview with a firm yesterday, where someone from their London office called for a short chat. Turns out he was Karthik's classmate. It really is a v small world :-)
I've very few classes this week. Unlike the usual first year schedule. And the PGP office doesn't schedule quizzes this week. So one of the 'chillest' times on campus. Except that ibank shortlists are coming out and everyone is stressed.
If you don't make it, you're stressed about not making day zero and not getting a job of your choice.
If you do, you're (if possible) more stressed about still not converting it and not getting a job of your choice.
What's Playing..
Have been listening to some of Girish's music yesterday. Amazing Stuff! He and his friends have got real talent!
It's a small world..
I had a phone interview with a firm yesterday, where someone from their London office called for a short chat. Turns out he was Karthik's classmate. It really is a v small world :-)
Monday, October 31, 2005
Growing up..
I catch a cold every time the season changes. Chennai to Ahmedabad hasn't changed that.
At home, I used to curl up in my bed with hot cocoa, blankets and a nice book. I'd 'intercom' my mom every time I wanted something and spend the week in luxury.
Today, I washed my own handkerchiefs, applied vicks on my face and went to sleep.
If this is what growing up is, then I want no part of it.
I miss my mom..
:-(
At home, I used to curl up in my bed with hot cocoa, blankets and a nice book. I'd 'intercom' my mom every time I wanted something and spend the week in luxury.
Today, I washed my own handkerchiefs, applied vicks on my face and went to sleep.
If this is what growing up is, then I want no part of it.
I miss my mom..
:-(
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